Grand Sichuan House

Grand Sichuan House
(718)680-8887

8701 5th Ave, Brooklyn 11209 between 87th and 88th street


Okay, this place completely rocks when you actually eat there. They have an astonishingly "authentic" Chinese menu, I call it authentic because it's mostly made up of crazy shit I've never heard of. When you are there, read the reviews on the walls - they won't steer you wrong. Actually, they do - avoid the hot shrimp dumplings, they are unremarkable.

You need to seek out the "chicken and hot pepper" mess, it's a mass of little bits of chicken hidden in a pile of dried hot peppers. It's an Easter egg hunt, digging around in the peppers for bits of chicken. Concealed amongst the giant peppers are little tiny nuggetty peppers that aren't hot, but cah-razy weird in your mouth. They make the mouth vibrate, a vigorous buzzing that doesn't hurt but is rather exciting. It's hard to beat.

They also have a dried beef dish that can either be curried or not. Don't miss it. Their General Tso chicken is good, too. Not too hot, not too sweet, and really really cheap.


Anyways, this site is more about delivery dishes, so:

Eggplant with Garlic Sauce - This was so much better than I'd ever expected. Big two inch chunks of egg plant in a thin sauce vaguely reminiscent of General Tso's. Sweet and savory and eggplanty, just right mixed 50/50 in the rice.

Vegetable Mai Fun - A non-greasy noodle dish. Tiny bits of vegetables, mostly noodles. Not bad.

Twice Cooked Pork - A sore disappointment. Big slices of fatty pork that tasted like the Chinese barbecue crap I hate so much. Avoid.

Mystery seafood dish - A very good seafood dish we didn't order. Fall apart bits of white fish, all sorts of goodness. I'll never find it again.

All Happy Chinese Restaurant

All Happy Chinese Restaurant
8706 5th Avenue
(718)921-5252


Technically, my order was a delivery. I picked it up and took it home, so it's delivery enough for this blog. Anyways, this blog is really about me reminding myself what I do and don't like about certain restaurants, so this is important.

I ordered a lunch order of General Tso's Chicken, and asked for it extra crispy as I always do. General Tso's can be the best thing on the menu or inedible jelly, it's totally the luck of the draw and the number one factor I use when judging a Chinese restaurant. Not, mind you, that their General Tso's is indicative of the rest of their menu. Quite a few restaurants have marvelous selections and have tacked on General Tso's as a necessary evil - something they aren't really invested in but know fat guys like me are sure to order.

For whatever reason, All Happy gave me some really awful General Tso's Chicken. Instead of extra crispy it was extra burned tasting, but STILL not crispy. It fell on the gelatin side of things, with the breading sliding off like a wet scab. The sauce was awful, too.

So that's it. If you are in the area, go across the street to the falafel cart or Grand Szechuan.